Who Let the Air Out? Who? Who? Who? Who?
(One of the great Rumbles in history...until the number 30 buzzer hit.)
Storytelling: 3/5 stars
Match Quality: 4/5 stars
Finish: 1/5 stars
Winner: 2/5 stars
Extracurriculars: 3/5 stars
TOTAL: 13/25 stars
Great Moment You May Have Forgotten: Lost somehow in the shuffle is the great brooding story between eventual winner Randy Orton and Luke Harper, who completely turned on his mentor Bray Wyatt and hopefully sets up a main event feud in the coming months.
Moment You Wish You Weren't Reminded Of: Semi-popular cruiserweight Jack Gallagher attempts to recreate a famous scene by a woman using an umbrella. No, not Mary Poppins, this one.
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Geeze, talk about a downer, am I right?
Going into this 2017 Royal Rumble, the card was stacked, possibly the best collection of 30 superstars ever to enter a match at once. From the Undertaker to the Goldberg/Lesnar battle, to giant man Strowman, to Jericho, Wyatt family, and Sami Zayn and others, this was the most open field of possible winners we have had in almost a decade. Granted, it certainly didn't hurt to have the brand split to leave both belts a mystery for who could possibly win, but regardless this was shaping up to be epic. Furthermore, this is the Royal Rumble, so with a bevy of big names rumored for surprise, the crowd was in huge suspense that a name that wasn't even entered could actually pull off the surprise of a lifetime.
Well before we get to the obvious troll job that WWE played on us all, let's talk a bit about the first 29 spots. For the most part, it was generally great. You had Jericho being the cowardly Iron Man after spending half the night stuck in a shark cage. You have Braun Strowman really coming into his own by obliterating the jobbers, only to have himself eliminated by other growing names in WWE in Sami Zayn and Baron (where is my hair) Corbin. There were no major surprise names (except maybe Tye Dillinger, and the stupid waste of space James Ellsworth, but come on), but it had all the best wrestlers in the business from fun tag teams to the typical Big Show/Mark Henry losing feats of strengths to other big men (Strowman). Ambrose, Miz, Ziggler, Cesaro, Sheamus, New Day, and many others all put on a great show.
Oh, and also this happened.
Yea, Lesnar came in at number 26, eliminated jobbers like Enzo and made everyone lie in agony in the ring. And then Goldberg came in at Number 28 and beat him in another 10 seconds. It's safe to say that he has Lesnar's number, although boy will that Mania match blow...again.
So after Goldberg did his butt rearranging at number 28, two entries were left. One was known to be the nearly Deadman, The Undertaker, who promptly appeared at number 29 and took care of business, including eliminating Goldberg. So now with a few mid to upper-mid-carders remaining, a big mystery existed as to who would be number 30? There were big names (Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, Nakamura, Kurt Angle) that were all rumored to show up and really excite the crowd. So what did the WWE do?
Just feel the air being deflated out of that balloon of enjoyment.
So just to quickly recap Roman's night, the Forced Goldenboy lost in a great and brutal match earlier to Kevin Owens because Braun Strowman interfered. So he was visibly spent. Why then does WWE chose to ruin a big spot by a. not even bringing Reigns out earlier to get revenge on Strowman and instead opting to put him in long after Strowman is gone, and b. put him in period. This just completely invigorated the crowd in anger and frustration for the continual shoving down of a face product no one wants.
So Reigns comes in and the ring clears of the remaining midcarders, then Reigns shockingly throws out the Undertaker, hinting at the probable upcoming WrestleMania 33 match. This left us with a final four of for some reason a team Bray Wyatt and Randy Orton, Chris Jericho the Iron Coward, and crowd pariah Reigns.
Jericho is thrown, double team ensues, Reigns starts Reigning up and gets Wyatt out, only to get an RKO and be eliminated.
Why the hell is Randy Orton winning this match? He already has a win, and has no momentum going into this match when compared to so many others?
The Royal Rumble winner is at it's best when it's one of two things. Either the winner is an up-and-comer being pushed into the main event (which in this case, should've been Wyatt instead of Orton if this is the believed storyline the WWE is telling). Or it cements the legacy of a legend who has never won it before (hence Jericho).
Instead, we just get a boring winner who only looks better by comparison because the other option is pointlessly put it to purposely piss off the fans. Damnit WWE, you just loving taking a good thing and ruining it don't you?
Based on my rankings, this match tied with my now Number 18 spot, the 1996 Rumble. While the talent overall is miles better than the '96 edition (See: Squat Team Members), this match left a sour taste in my mouth and didn't send me home happy. Therefore, the 2017 Royal Rumble is placed in the number 19 spot, losing valuable points and an possibility to be a top 5 match had they planned a better winner and ending. But like all Rumbles, you can debate and have fun, but until then make sure that unlike Kofi, you don't ram your head on a ring post.
That's it for me, take care and in a few weeks I will begin an epic countdown for WrestleMania season that I have been working on all year. I hope to gain your continued support and reading through it.
