FanPost

Ranking Royal Rumbles: Number 12-2012

sheamus-royalrumble-2012-2071811.0.jpg

wwe-royal-rumble-2012.0.png

Everyone's a Contestant!!! You Get a Rumble Spot, and You Get a Rumble Spot...

(The Rumble that featured a game of leap frog, sock puppet theatre, a whole bunch of Michael Cole...but the rest wasn't that terrible)

Storytelling: 3/5 Stars

Match Quality: 3/5 Star

Finish: 4/5 Stars

Winner: 3/5 Stars

Extracurriculars: 3/5 Stars

TOTAL: 16/25 Stars

Great Moment You May Have Forgotten: I think my favorite "surprise" entrant was Kharma, coming in and throwing out Hunico, scaring Michael Cole's orange suit to brown, and Implant Busting Dolph Ziggler.

Moment You Wish You Weren't Reminded Of: Heel Michael Cole...(That's your only argument?? IT'S THE ONLY ARGUMENT I NEED!!!)

*Note: This is the first of 5 Rumbles that had 16 stars, the largest tie I had in the countdown. They all had their ups and downs, but in this humble writer's opinion, this had the most downs by comparison to the next 4 coming up

______________________________________________

This was probably the hardest Rumble for me to rank. I constantly switched the rankings on this one from as low as 14/25 to as high as 17/25, but I settled on 16 because as much as I hate Sheamus winning, it's not the worst choice the WWE ever did, and while some of the guest choices and spots are...stupid to say the least...in the end they came at the right time and the this was truly the last Rumble where there was a big element of surprise and intrigue as to who would win.

Due to the high level of diversity in the WWE in 2012 (well actually due the Rock/John Cena clearly headlining Mania 28, thus giving any title match an undercard feeling), The 2012 Rumble was hyped as anyone can enter, and anyone can win. This gave us two unique parallels that are not seen in Rumbles very often:

First, it gave us a ton of guest spots and shocking "surprises" to provide a unique entertainment. The surprises ranged from awesome (Kharma, Road Dogg), to nostalgic (Mick Foley, Jim Duggan), to nauseating (Ricardo Rodriguez, Michael Cole). This provided mostly enjoyable side segments that while admittedly terrible for some, provided an interesting segway before the real action.

Second, it gave us about 10 wrestlers who legitimately look like they could win this match. While Jericho was the believed favorite, Sheamus, The Miz, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, Wade Barrett, Randy Orton, and Big Show looked like legitimate contenders would could win the match. For those who don't remember what it's like to have an open field, this was a big deal for storyline uniqueness (and gambling addicts) alike as the chances for each were spread out.

So the match starts with Miz and his former protege Alex Riley (what a wasted career that was) going at it. Followed by appearances by R-truth, Rhodes, Justin Gabriel, and Primo (he of the stupid matador gimmick), Mick Foley came into his last career WWE match, and all hell brook loose.

By hell I mean we had to watch the next ten minutes or so.

An out of shape man who should for his own health and safety not be in this match throws out Primo and is followed by last year's winner Alberto Del Rio making a return. Oh wait, just kidding, it's out of shape Ricardo Rodriguez, who shows that fat wrestlers shouldn't wear white singlets, and him and Foley have some "fun". Ignore that fact that Miz and Cody are knocked out by a Foley DDT and R-Truth finisher for nearly 10 minutes. We want to see these two be goofs and throw out Gabriel. This is followed by resident Rumble Ret...uh goof I mean....Santino. Him and Ricardo proceed to have what can only be described as the worst battle of legitimate wrestlers I've ever seen, complete with some weird leap frog game. Finally Santino and Foley throw out Ricardo and they battle each other...BY PULLING OUT THEIR SOCK PUPPETS!!! Yea the second most important match of the year had a sock puppet war. Thankfully Miz and Cody woke up from their comatose and eventually threw them out, ending the comedic portion of this event.

The next stage of this match was dominated by three men (unless you exclude Kofi Kingston's amazing handstand, which I'm sure most of you have seen before on his highlight reel). It was Ezekiel Jackson, Jinder Mahal, and Hunico Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, and Booker T. Yes all three announcers were in because why??? Only Booker T made sense, and if you can get past everything awful that Heel Cole does and says in this match, it was another apparently comedic performance before dealing with the legitimate contenders.

RR12_Photo_172.0.0.0.jpg

-Raise your hand if you had this as a scene you would see in a Rumble match.

With all the fluff out of the way, the rest of the match was legit and one of the better second halves in Rumble history. With the exception of Road Dogg (who did look great mind you), and Duggan (well he's almost 60 at this point so you can guess how it went), everyone left in the last ten legitimately and a chance to win. There were some great eliminations, include a Big Show dismantling of Swagger, Miz (who was the MVP of this match sans finale, surprisingly), Cody, and Ziggler. This was followed by Randy Orton hitting Big Show with the throw out of the ring OUTTA NOWHERE, followed by a quick elimination of Orton by Jericho. And then there was two.

Normally when it comes down to the final two it's a quick fix of a few minutes or shenanigans that usually involve Vince McMahon somehow. Not this time however, as Sheamus and Jericho went brawling for 10 minutes in what is possibly the second best technical final battle in Rumble history (first will come later on in this list obviously). Although Jericho was the favorite, and probably should've won, you can't discount Sheamus for making it legitimate and looking like he could upset Jericho. And then he did, with his signature Bore Kick following an amazing sequence of Jericho trying to save himself.

Sheamus winning is not the best choice in Rumble history, but it brought a sense of shock into the Rumble we haven't seen in the past three years. It should have been Jericho, that was his Rumble to win, but you know the WWE loves Lameus, so you take the good with the bad. Overall, a good, not great Rumble match that incorporated some fun for the whole family, and migraines for other parts of the family.

If you like legitimate wrestling intrigue, watch the match on the network, but just skip the first half or so. Tomorrow's Rumble features a guy thrown over the top rope 4 times, and one announcer's insulting commentary cranked up to 11. Trust me this is a wacky Rumble coming up.

Ranking Royal Rumbles: A Retrospective

Number 28: 1995

Number 27: 1988

Number 26: 1991

Number 25: 2015

Number 24: 1989

Number 23: 1994

Number 22: 1999

Number 21: 2014

Number 20: 2011

Number 19: 1993

Number 18: 1997

Number 17: 1996

Number 16: 2009

Number 15: 2013

Number 14: 2005

Number 13: 2006

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Cageside Seats readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cageside Seats editors or staff.