Bowling Balls, Guitars, Trash Cans, Celebrities, and The Greatest Collection of Moments in a 60 Minute Span
(11 reasons why the 2001 Rumble is the greatest of them all)
Storytelling: 5/5 Stars
Match Quality: 5/5 Stars
Finish: 4/5 Stars
Winner: 5/5 Stars
Extracurricular: 3/5 Stars-Drew Carey to me is the only major blemish
TOTAL: 22/25 Stars
Great Moment You May Have Forgotten: Kane is a boss, with his 11 eliminations, including those smacks across the heads of Steve Blackman and Honky Tonk Man.
Moment You Wish You Weren't Reminded Of: Drew Carey lasted longer in the match than professional wrestlers Faarooq, Goodfather,Tazz, and Scotty 2 Hotty...combined.
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Before I divulge into the reason why 2001 is the greatest Rumble of all time, I would like to thank everyone who has read this series from the beginning and made me happy to write and share my oft zany preferences and references throughout the month. You may disagree with the positioning, but you can always be sure that opinions are welcome and by hearing mine it will get you discussing and watching the good, bad, and Bootista of the Rumble. Thanks again and I like all look forward to probably bash the 2016 Rumble tonight with joy.
You can argue what the best time period of WWE was, whether it's the Summer of Punk boom or the late 80's era of Hogan (it definitely wasn't the New Generation era that's for sure). But the case I, as probably most will make, is that the Attitude Era was the best time in WWE's history, both from a cultural standpoint and a wrestling standpoint. The characters were never better, the investment was there, and the unparalleled enthusiasm that was grown from Vince Mcmahon being a jerk to Bret Hart is what made wrestling a household name again, and beyond. To me, it was at its personal zenith in a six month period from Survivor Series 2000 to Wrestlemania 2001, where long term goals and fun feuds met brilliant wrestling, resulting in the greatest events the WWE has ever accomplished. The Royal Rumble 2001 was not just a major part of that movement, it was that movement in a nutshell. In 60 minutes, you got the best of what wrestling had to offer to fans of all ages, and the moments that are etched in time.
Set in the Big Easy (New Orleans) we were treated to the golden standard of Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler again, they weren't completely ludacris, they just did their job and did it better than few have. This match also had about 5 realistic winners (although the case for Austin winning was the most likely), not an overabundance but not a clearly obvious winner like in 2013. Finally, it featured a slew of backstories that kept attention, from Austin vs. Triple H on the back burner, to T&A splitting up following Trish Stratus's rise. It had it all and built those feuds correctly.
The match started off fine, with the Hardy Boyz (at this time one of the three hottest tag team ever with Edge and Christian and the Dudleyz) working together to eliminate Bull Buchanon and Faarooq. Then at number 5 is arguably the low point of this match...comedian Drew Carey. Yes Drew Carey made an appearance...and for some reasons the Hardyz fought each other and eliminated each other. so if the Rumble ended after 4 Drew Carey would've been your winner. Just let that sink in...
But at number 6, Kane the Konquerer entered the ring (JR stole my line about Drew wearing black pants). And after trying to bribe Kane to surprisingly no avail, Raven came in to save the day, allowing Carey to eliminate himself on his own recognizance. Then it got nuts. Raven brought all of his crazy weapons into the ring and the head shots began.
Speaking of head, Al Snow came in and brought all of his weapons at the time including a bowling ball. He smacked Kane with the ball and then rolled it into Raven's nuts. HIS NUTS!!! THAT'S NUTS!!!( Sidenote: Raven is a Mensa member, but you wouldn't know it watching this match or anything else he's ever done in a ring). This was soon followed by Perry Saturn, Steve Blackman, and Grandmaster Sexay coming in, and everyone tried to eliminate Kane to no avail. Kane saw the fire in his eyes and went insane, smacking everyone in the head with trashcans, road signs, and lids if your Steve Blackman. So he threw all the dead weight out.
Then at number 12 comes in Honky Tonk Man, who did his little annoying dance, and met a guitar to the head courtesy of Kane. Kane is freaking unstoppable and really the MVP of this match. But at number 13, If you didn't smell before, you smelt it now!!!! The Rock comes in and it's on like Genghis Khan.
After unfair eliminations on Goodfather (remember Right to Censor, that happened), and Tazz, the ring started to fill up and get serious. Perennial appearances by Bradshaw, Albert (in just Albert, a regular gimmick), Hardcore Holly, newcomer K-Kwik (aka R-truth a decade earlier), Val Venis, William Regal, and Test all made their appearances. Then things got even nuttier.
At 23, making a return we actually cared about him, was the Big Show, who throw out Test and K-Kwik, chockslammed everyone, and then met the People's tush whopping as the Rock eliminated him. Angry, Show grabbed him from under the ring and chokeslammed him through a table, nearly incapacitating him.
After a ho hum appearance by Crash Holly, Undertaker owned the yard and kept rolling rolling rolling rolling his way into the ring. Together with his brother Kane, they eliminated everyone mercilessly (except the Rock who was knocked out outside the ring). Then, after Scotty 2 Hotty continued his legendary "job" as cannon fodder to bigger stars, that Austin dude came out at number 27, ready to kick bu...HOLY ZOINKS, TRIPLE H HAS JUST CAME OUT TO KICK HIS BUTT! AUSTIN IS A BLOODY MESS!!!! Yea Trips knocked him out cold for revenge for interfering in his match with Angle for the championship.
So soon the final three entrants (Billy Gunn in his big "push", Haku in a scary surprise, and Rikishi in his really big "push") came out and Rock and Austin crawled into the ring and we had 7 stars left, and I truly believed anyone but Haku could win it. It's hard to believe that but Gunn and Rikishi were really hot for a while. Well Haku went the way first, then in kind of a surprise, Rikishi got rid of Undetaker. But in his gloating and overconfidence he got low blowed by the Rock and thrown out. Then Billy Gunn was shown the door by Austin.
So our final three was Rock, Austin and Kane. Any one of the three could win it, and after much teasing and a mini battle between Rock and Austin, Kane sneakily comes in and throw out Rock, setting a new elimination record with 11!!! Kane was a machine and possibly could've won this match. But you had that feeling when it was down to Austin and him that wasn't happening. A few conniving Stunners and chair shots later and STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD!!!! A great end to a fantastic match.
So why is this number? It wasn't the best finish ever, but pretty close. It wasn't the best storyline ever, but pretty close. But this match was built on the growth of the stars and the best match-ups possibly of all time. All of the events in the match were responsible for culminating in Mania 17 being the event it was. At least 20 characters were given a chance to shine and do some unique maneuvers. Kane was made an elevated star. Austin and Rock cemented their rivalry, and perhaps best of all, there was no sign of politicking making its way into the limelight of the match (regardless of what we know backstage). It was just an ideal match for the ideal time doing everything right. Is it perfect? Hell no, no Rumble has ever been perfect. But it was perfect for the time, and while 1992 started the trend of what a great Rumble can be, 2001 was the pinnacle of that build up. It was crazy, chaotic, hilarious, and serious at all the right times, and I'm happy to rank it number 1 and hope it stays as fun 30 years down the road as it was back then.
You can enjoy all the greatness of this match on the network. Tomorrow we look at....well maybe not tomorrow, but in a few days or a week or 2 I'll rank the 2016 Rumble, I hope it's more of a 2001 than a 1995, but only time will tell. I thank you all again and may all your Rumbles be Squat Team Member free.
